Ironical Humor Fan Gifts

'Now I suppose, we owe them one.'

"Touched by an Angel..."

"Okay, you work 80 hours a week, but you enjoy the flexibility and freedom of a salaried manager."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Backfire

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Look! No hands!"

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Trump Poutine

Pastry Hat

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Winter Weather.

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"Nice haircut."