Ironic Vow Admirer Pillows

"Do you Death, take this woman until life do you part?"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

The Snarky District

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

"...until death do you a favor."

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"When I said that if only poor people worked a little harder they might get some money, I didn't mean my money."

Holiday cottage

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

The Final Selfie

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"No more cartooning, I'm afraid. You've got an irony deficiency."

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"You're afraid of what?"