Ironic Thinkers Gifts

"But, in the end, you will become bored with that, too."

"I hate my gym."

"Any luck?" "No, I can't get a wifi signal, either."

"I guess I'd better drop out now - I've just won the lottery."

'Unless your last name happens to be 'Lemming'.'

'Poor fellow... lost at a game of 'Hangman'.'

'If I'd only known about solitary confinement, I wouldn't have had to wipe out my family to get peace and quiet!'

"I gotta start taking better care of myself, Joe - you got any high-fiber whisky?"

"If your faith is so strong, why did you rush to the E.R. instead of your church?"

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

"I don't think of it as copying from Danny's paper ... I think of it as utilizing the Freedom of Information Act."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

Meet The Ghostwriter