Ironic Talkers Gifts

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Admit it, we're lost."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

Meet The Ghostwriter

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'

'Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.'

Gigolo Diary

They stole your identity, but after seeing your credit score, they gave it back.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

"I eat green but I don't vote green."

An ironic epiphany: "Wow, right, AS IF!"

The Dungeon