Ironic Statement Collector Pillows

I guess Living in my parents basement does sound better than tried to overthrow my dad in a coup.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

The Snarky District

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"When I said that if only poor people worked a little harder they might get some money, I didn't mean my money."

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

The water desk

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

Aggression Therapy Seminar

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

Daily Meditations for Perpetual Victims

'You have a file cabinet full of recipes you're printed off. The only way 99% of them will ever make it into our stomachs is if we the printer paper.'

"You're right. It does look better around your neck."

Climate-Conscious Cartoonists Work Without Paper!

Hit by corona.

'You seem to be suffering a reaction to the amount of medication you're taking. I'll see what I can prescribe for that!'

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

Tattoo Repo Men

'Before you get any ideas, you're not in my will.'

'He really wanted to be cremated. . .'

Nobody's perfect.

'As you can see, the place has a certain Cold War Era charm.'

'Sure it's an impressive collection. Too bad they're all overdue library books.'

'If you're such a great artist how come I can't buy any of your stuff on a mug?'

"Don't look a gift horse in the ass, either."