Ironic Collector Pillows

Seedy Beachgoer Man

'Sure it's an impressive collection. Too bad they're all overdue library books.'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Tattoo Repo Men

'As you can see, the place has a certain Cold War Era charm.'

"I always get these things and I don't know why. I'm not a collector!"

Mixed Doubles.

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

I accepted an early retirement buy out and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

If all else fails, give up.

The water desk

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

Aggression Therapy Seminar

Hissy-fits for sale.

Giraffe's Ice-cream.

Fourth quarter earnings down, please help.

Money Snowglobe

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

Help Wanted: Faith Healer Healthcare Provider.

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

"Don't mention it."

Affirmative response executive - Remember when they were just called 'yes-men'?

"I have nothing to hide."

British PM David Cameron resigns

'Hey, wait a minute †you're not a dolphin!'

Daily Meditations for Perpetual Victims