Humorous Fashion Statement Collector Pillows

The Decoded Fashion Statements of Rhonda Perlmutter III

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Do you do much walking?"

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

The Dandy

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"Mmm...'ll take these - they fit like a glove."

Hairstyles

Introducing the "people having a great time" turtle-neck! 11% wool 89% fun!

Frock Coat

"I like the suit, but do you have it in a smaller check?"

"Wow! Why do you have no tattoos?"

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

'The designer stubble is getting a little out of hand Rasputin!'

'When did you first become a Fruit-of-the-Loom guys groupie?'

"This is for a dissatisfaction survey. On a scale of minus one to minus ten, how bad have we made it for you down here?"

Belling the Cat

"I think we can relax, they're not lumberjacks after all: They're hipsters..."

"I can prescribe something for your pain. . . but there's nothing I can do about those boxers!"

Titan Arum

"It's not what you think. I'm from South Dakota."

Something for Everyone!

"Hey - make sure the mask covers his nose."

Tattoos & Super Powers Removed

'Edward, will you promise that if I die first you won't go crazy and get your nose pierced?'

'George, when did you grow that stupid moustache?'

Man reads a man's tattoos instead of his newspaper.

"Now that is one big ass hat."

Fendi Bag Lady

"After 35 years of Diligent service...management present you with this award." -MUG

'Nobody takes me seriously.'

Why would anyone want to polish a lemon?