Ironic Gifts For Men Pillows

Sushi For Men...

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

Solitaire card shark.

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

Fast Food Menus

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

An Anarchist's Christmas

Tunnel of Dove.

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

Daily Meditations for Perpetual Victims

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

"A birthday gift card? Really?"

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

'You've been smarting off a lot lately -- Have you been fooling around with that 'Tree of Knowledge'?'

I think the best part was when we decided not to record it.

"Thank you, Darling...."

Jill and Ted fought to the point of complete exhaustion over the placement of, ironically, a wedding gift.

She collected ceramic pigs. Only one so far, but even that was one too many.

Very rough-looking tattooed thug on his way to the 'Gentlemen'.

Helicopter as a clothes drier

Rodney kicked off his fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control...this was not enough.

A homeless man sells t-shirts of himself.

Please give so I don't have to sell reindeer blood for wine money.

'I just feel so much better buying the free range Pinatas.'

Santa eating a reindeer.

"Could you forward it to my offshore account?"

Snow Stab.

Criminal Santa Claus