Ironic Diet Admirers Gifts

Overeaters Anonymous - Welcome New Members! What - no buffet?

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

A well-balanced meal to a kid is a candy bar in each hand.

"Hold on! A new study says those are actually bad for you."

Food-Snob Fear Factor

"Everything is fat-free. So why am I still fat?"

It occurred to Norman that he was using far, far too much salt.

"They're veggie hot dogs but don't worry—they're made in a really gross way."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

Toblerone - Toblertwo.

'Well, if you're enjoying your diet plan you must be doing it wrong.'

'You must be skinnier than this to eat at buffet bar.'

"My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork."

Fast food

Diet.

'Bottles water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!...'

Fat Kid.

"I have put on a few pounds, but it's mostly water weight."

"This is the latest craze - eat anything you want, anytime you want. It's called the San Andreas Plan."

"Okay, I'll eat my vegetables. But, when they make me big and strong, you better watch out!"

"Wearing a thong out in public...DISCUSTING!"

'I'll have double order of today's special.'

'Darling, we're vegetarians. We must stop meat eating like this.'