Ironic Bond Seeker Pillows

Join the protest march, I'm lonely.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

The Red Carpet

"This bond is so boring we gave it a Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z rating."

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

Eurydice in prison

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"Thank goodness I invested in long term bonds!"

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

"I can't afford to feed you."

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."