Ironic Bond Seeker Gifts

Join the protest march, I'm lonely.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

What do you think about this "too big to fail" stuff?

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

The Red Carpet

50 Year Celebrations.

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"This bond is so boring we gave it a Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z rating."

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

Eurydice in prison

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"Thank goodness I invested in long term bonds!"

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

"I can't afford to feed you."

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'