Ironic Twist Seeker Pillows

A fisherman is hooked on the beach.

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

'I married him on the rebound, and now his CHECKS are bouncing!'

Pilgrim and Turkey in Stocks.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Eat my dust!"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

The evidence destroyed

The Final Selfie

The Red Carpet

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

Eurydice in prison

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

Doom & Gloom

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

"Beware of dog"

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

Local anaesthetic.