Iron Pumper Gifts

'Whoa... Dude! You've been pumping iron!

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Weightlifter

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

A man going to the toilet sees two doors, one is labeled 'MEN', the other, 'REAL MEN'.

'It would never work, Roger. I'm muscle mass, you're yoga.'

'Body-building is great, unfortunately, now I'm stuck in my shell...'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

Important Muscles.

"My career in weight lifting has become a huge headache."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'I can lift an elephant with one hand. . . Show me an elephant with one hand and I'll lift him.'

'Under this blubber, pal, there are abs and muscle you wouldn't believe!'

'He won't lift a finger at home !'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Big Business

Pick up time 2:15.

'Wilson's back in the work force, and apparently not too humbled by his prison term.'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

'I think it's time for you to start on your cooling-down exercises.'

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

"You want to start pumping iron? That's your mother's department."

Olympic Jar Opening Event

"Bro, you'll feel better after you chug this T."

The Four Horsemen of the Gympocalypse."

A person is trying to open a hotdog jar at the gym.

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

"Just a few pumps more...!"

Body builder flexs his muscles so much that his head disappears inside them.

'Any other qualifications besides pumping iron?'

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

'Bad news, coach. His test came back positive for spending hours in the weight room pumping iron.'