Iron Pumper Gifts

'Whoa... Dude! You've been pumping iron!

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Weightlifter

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

A man going to the toilet sees two doors, one is labeled 'MEN', the other, 'REAL MEN'.

"I guess now would be as good a time as any to talk about balance."

'It would never work, Roger. I'm muscle mass, you're yoga.'

'Body-building is great, unfortunately, now I'm stuck in my shell...'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

Important Muscles.

"My career in weight lifting has become a huge headache."

"Maybe we should lay off the upper body training till your head pops back out."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'I can lift an elephant with one hand. . . Show me an elephant with one hand and I'll lift him.'

'Under this blubber, pal, there are abs and muscle you wouldn't believe!'

'He won't lift a finger at home !'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Patty would soon be implicated in the infamous Cheerleading Steroid Scandal.

Big Business

Pick up time 2:15.

'Wilson's back in the work force, and apparently not too humbled by his prison term.'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Cleaner Lifts Weights at the Gym

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

'I think it's time for you to start on your cooling-down exercises.'

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

"You want to start pumping iron? That's your mother's department."

Olympic Jar Opening Event

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

Fitness class. Trainer. Listen to your body! What's it saying right now? I could tell you, but I'd have to use euphemisms.

"Bro, you'll feel better after you chug this T."

The Four Horsemen of the Gympocalypse."