Investor Relations Manager Gifts

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'Great Therapy!'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

Economy.

Dept. of the Treasury

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'We like the teamwork idea, but Billy won't let us play with his ball.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"To say things are bad is an UNDERSTATEMENT...We're staring into a FINANCIAL ABYSS, the COLLAPSE of the banking sector...On the other hand some experts believe that things will be back to normal in a few months ."

'Fenwick is here with a dire warning about the next bubble to burst.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'Money, I'm home!'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

'What do you mean, 'away team'? -- You're firing me, aren't you?'

Wildcats Strike.

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

Mr. Dow meeting Mr. Jones

Making money for investors is simple

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'Oh, you'll love working here. Nobody treats you any differently just becuase of your age, race, or gender.'