Investment Company Manager Gifts

"We were leasing land to a guy running a truffle farm in france. He skipped out, but we were able to recover some of his assets."

The day the stock market went UP.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"What's a debenture?"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

The economy.

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

E.U. Banking Union.

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

European currency on the edge.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'In a surprise move, Greece decided to peg its currency against the Baklava.'

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.