Investment Maestro Gifts

The Speculators

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Profit

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

U.S. Credit Rating

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"