Investment Vacationer Gifts

Stock quotes on beach.

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'That's funny, everybody else is going downstream.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"Yaffle: For the funny bone in you"

Call Your Office

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

'Ahh, mannn! I thought you said this was a NUDE beach!' Two guys overlooking a clothed beach hoping it wasn't

Ecotourism.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

Overdoing it.

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

'Looks like this beach has already been claimed.'

"Do you get unlimited talk, text and data with that?"

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

'How was your holiday?'

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

Scene on the English coast.

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

"Welcome to the staff! The compensation is generous and they have good benefits. They're cutting out our paid Bahamas cruise though, because too many employees never came back."

Sombrero with gutter pipe holiday

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

The good ship Great Britain