Investment Introspector Gifts

'I know I'm a small investor. What makes me mad is that when I started with you I was a large investor."

"Is your glass half full with windfall profits, or half empty with a capital gains problem?"

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"What was I thinking?!"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Wall Street Couch

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

That party went well.

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Pastorius wonders why.

Real Life/Surreal Life

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

Banana Split Personality