Investment Insider Gifts

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"I warned him not to keep his bitcoins under the mattress."

'Crisis'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Travel looks strong!

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

Got out of the market too soon; got back in too late.

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'I am going to recommend a stock that has consistently outperformed the market since Tuesday.'

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

'Both were written this year by the same author.'