Investment Introspector T-Shirts

'I know I'm a small investor. What makes me mad is that when I started with you I was a large investor."

"Is your glass half full with windfall profits, or half empty with a capital gains problem?"

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"What was I thinking?!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

That party went well.

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

Pastorius wonders why.

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Banana Split Personality

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

Wall Street Couch

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'