Intimate Chefs Gifts

"I'm making 'libido helper' for dinner!"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Salt and Pepper

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Tzatzikicicle

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

"I'm going to run away and join the circus. Not one of those big, tacky ones—something more European and intimate."

Cooking With Pollock.

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

Spatula Conductor

Sandwich snob.

"Sauted lard, please."

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

'Blimey, how old is this stilton?' 'Let;s put it this way...it used to be cheddar.'

"My husband's a big eater. Do you have any edible bathrobes?"

Artist and chiken

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'Not now, Lord!'

"This isn't just any old food wine. This is the foodies' food wine."

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

"Omigod! It's the breakfast I made him for his birthday!"

Who wants to lick the swatters.

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

'Thanks, I found the cheesecloth. Can you recommend a nice wine to serve with it?'

"Jean-Pierre, homemade caviar for table six, please!"

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

MILAN CHAIR HARVEST

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'