Culinary Couple Gifts

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

"You were right-we should have just split one."

Salt and Pepper

A romantic young couple dining

'My compliments to the chef.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Soup of the month.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Garden.

Too much cilantro

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Holiday Supplies

I love Cannelloni

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Please don't kill me."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

The perfect man

Where cronuts come from.

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"Pie chart"

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"A little lamb please."

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'