Culinary Couple Pillows

"You were right-we should have just split one."

Salt and Pepper

A romantic young couple dining

'My compliments to the chef.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Soup of the month.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Garden.

Too much cilantro

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

I love Cannelloni

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

Holiday Supplies

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"Please don't kill me."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

The perfect man

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"A little lamb please."

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"Pie chart"

"My compliments to the can opener."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."