Culinary Buddy Pillows

"My compliments to the can opener."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Salt and Pepper

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"Don't tell him anything."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Slow food restaurant

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."