Interstellar Advisor Gifts

Interplanetary Family Intervention

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

How Glaciations Begin

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"All the celebrities come here."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"How do I get down?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"We call out to you, please reveal yourself, oh Spirit of Innovation."

On Holiday

"For five starts it's worth the trip."

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

"The meaning of life at a glance"

"What is it you'd like to know about incentives, my son?"

"Beware of start-ups with a negative cash flow."

'There's no charge for the advice and wisdom, but I would eventually like those jumper cables returned!'