Internet Language Master Pillows

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Campaign for Plain English

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

WTF?

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'You're texting? Wait--'

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

New Curriculum Timetable - All in Cantonese.

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'Cosa vuol significare 'Spaghetti Western'?'

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

'Hey! Did you suddenly forget English? Get in here!'

"FISH ON"

Wilfried Zaha

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

"You sure know how to talk to sales clerks!"

'Why am I feeling like this..?'

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

Ernie, where have you been lately? At a Shakespeare class! Check this out! "Shall I compare thee to a summer's whey?" "To brie or not to brie, that is the question." "There would this muenster make a man." "The feta part of valor is discretion." Ernie, this course seems a bit cheesey. I thought it was gouda! Get me to a creamery!

Communikations Semminar.

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

Chinese kids are much smarter than we are! They just score well on tests. They're grinds. We're creative! We learn to express ourselves! West Fester High School. We'd better learn to express ourselves in Chinese!

"So, you've got butterflies in your stomach, a bug in your ear and a bee in your bonnet. Any other complaints?"

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

A teacher introduces the new student to the class - he's an alien - 'Good evening class, this is Zork and he will be joining us until he learns enough English to conquer the Earth...'

Cliche Workshop, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?"

Computer shows code violation to wierd user.

Grammar. Tenses: Present Past Future. No, this only applies to verbs. A deceased fly is not a "flew."

'You ask him to sing. I don't speak Italian.'

Wordplay: Amphibious

The shining light of open-source software.

'The following speaker was scheduled to give his talk last week, but needed more time to prepare his impromptu speech.'

You read the instructions upside down.

"Why study Latin? I guess so we'll know what Super Bowl game we're watching."