Language Instructor Pillows

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

"I have tried telling you several times, my name is Ken and I am from Glasgow."

Berlitz Guide to Dentalese.

A teacher introduces the new student to the class - he's an alien - 'Good evening class, this is Zork and he will be joining us until he learns enough English to conquer the Earth...'

Communikations Semminar.

New Curriculum Timetable - All in Cantonese.

Cliche Workshop, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?"

"Why study Latin? I guess so we'll know what Super Bowl game we're watching."

"I'm pretty sure it's not against your religion to conjugate a verb."

'What's the problem? Look, it's easy to learn foreign languages!'

The French lesson takes an expected turn.

Everything starts with "e" and ends in "g".

OK, I admit it...I don't know Spanish! Help me out! What should I tell my boss?"

'Cosa vuol significare 'Spaghetti Western'?'

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

We Do Not Say 'Yeah'.

British School of Prompting - AAAARRRGH.

"Why not split English into three? You teach old, I'll teach new and he can teach tchtxt."

A Puppet Named Juan

Campaign for Plain English

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'