Language Teachers Pillows

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

Kids talking street slang. Parent: "Their foreign language lessons are going well."

We hadn't realised your body language was French....

A Puppet Named Juan

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Campaign for Plain English

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Punctuation Police

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Shakespeare was bisexual

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

Thomas Hardy

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Henrik Ibsen,

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Sometimes Y Turn

Why do you direct the school musical, Mr. K? It's a privilege

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

William Faulkner

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Staff Yearbook

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"