Internet Dating Humorist Pillows

"That's an unusual, orange jumpsuit!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Advertising on the internet.

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

Facebook For Dogs.

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"I do want to talk about your feelings but first let's talk about cheese."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

Catroom.

Multiple personalities with blogs.

You've got snail.