Internet Commenter Pillows

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

Trump leaving

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Me when by BDD shows up

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Meet the People of the Internet

"This is gonna be great!"

"Blogs, twitter, social media, politics - we're living in the golden age of being able to say stupid things!"

Chess on TV

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

The United States of Amazement

"Actually, we will replace you."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"And me without a Twitter account."