Environmental Commenter Pillows

'We're not dependent upon foreign oil here, at least.'

Trump leaving

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

Sports Radio in Crisis

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Chess on TV

"Actually, we will replace you."

"Woo-hoo!"

The United States of Amazement

Meet the People of the Internet

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"I don't know which makes me happier: switching to natural gas to save money or watching the fight about fracking in order to get that gas."

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

Voice of the GOP

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.