Tv Commenter Pillows

'Gross! That guy is letting his dog lick him right on the mouth!'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Trump leaving

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Sports Radio in Crisis

Sir Patrick Moore.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Collected works

And now, for a rebuttal.

Pundits

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Meet the People of the Internet

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

That's nothing. You should see what he writes in the comments section.

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"