Internet Cat Sensation Pillows

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Let's get a kitty.'

"For far too long, we've missed out on the opportunity to profit from our videos."

"Anatomy of a cat"

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

"Honey! Our 15 minutes of fame has been reduced to an unflattering gif on Twitter!"

"Maybe you've seen my work. I've been on YouTube. I'm the drunk guy who lights his own farts."

'I'm a huge fan of yours, I've downloaded all your songs from the internet!'

"We're paying the best social media consultants in town and we're still not getting as many hits as you. What's your secret!?"

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Air Craft Carrier

"He expects us to climbdown first."

'We're here to talk to your son about his web site...'

Doctor Victor Katzenstein, the true inventor of the internet...

"That's our cat - he's not famous."

Doug was on the "No Cat List" – but even that didn't stop them.

'That's it, you've got it! I told you I could teach you how to hang by your tail!'

'I think the cat wants out...'

"Historically, cats didn't need to fight for world domination: humans willingly granted it to us..."

'You meowin' at me?'

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

"Before negotiations begin, we'll soften them up with 15 minutes of cute cat videos."

'Since I've been wearing a 'No Kitty' patch, I'm down to only one or two internet cat videos a day.'

Cat Park

"I don't care about gigabytes, RAM, or any of that. I just want the best computer to sit on."

Used to be the 'Hang in there, baby Friday's coming' poster cat

"Really, I'm still a beginner, but Master insists on putting clips of my piano practice on the internet: How embarrassing..."

'I'm afraid you've gone viral.'