Intermittent Fasting Gifts

"I'm a big devotee of fasting."

"You keep impeccable time."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

If you don't mind, we'll work through lunch...

Interfaith dialogue

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

The Janopause

"Fill it up!"

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

Happy Everything

Lunch break.

"A few more Hail Mary's would have seen you upgraded to premium-heaven."

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

I don't care if all your friends are having it done

'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'

"I couldn't decide what to give up for Lent, so I gave it all up."

"Giving up on diet?"

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

Yes, I know it's only been three hours - I'm a fast faster!

"Okay, so what do we add?"

"I like subtitles. I can watch the movie, skip the book, and not feel guilty."

"It's not a question of kosher. He's checking the rabbi's name to see if it's one whose politics he agrees with."

'No thanks, today's a fasting day.'

"So this is your hour of need, Cosgrove. Are you also going to take a lunch hour?"

"Fasting means you stop eating. It doesn't mean to eat your food faster."

'I'm not hungry.' - 'How's the fasting going?' - 'Not good. I can't stop thinking about food.' - Why are you looking at me funny?' - 'Oh, this isn't good.'

'He's conscientious about most of his religious duties, but he's slow to fast.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'