Interior Wizard Gifts

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Texturing the Walls

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

"Most projects require three hands."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

Dog Walker

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

I got the raise

Hydroponic Gardening

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

"As you can see, it comes fully furnished!"

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Reality home-improvement show.

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'