Interior Wizard Pillows

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Texturing the Walls

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"Most projects require three hands."

Start the session by doing something unusual.

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

Dog Walker

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

I got the raise

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

Hydroponic Gardening

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

"As you can see, it comes fully furnished!"

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

Reality home-improvement show.

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple