Bathroom Wizards Pillows

"Think positive and only good things will happen..."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'Which one of these things is the soap?'

"I'm making him take a spin class."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

WC problem.

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

Gender Specific Bath Towels (Hers)

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

Kid's at Bath Time.

Knight using the men's bathroom.

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

How men shop for towels.

"The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber with the second bathroom saved our marriage."

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

'No madam, the seat does not keep falling down, to the annoyance of male users, would you like one that does?'

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

'You don't hear the bath water running because I'm taking a sponge bath, mom.'

"Don't get mad at me - you're the one who threw your robe in the dryer."

Which one of these things is the soap?

'Holy shit!'

A man has wind turbines in his bath

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"Skip the job description and tell me how clean and well-lighted your bathrooms are!"

'How can you claim we lead the good life when we don't even have a brass toilet paper dispenser?'