Interior Design Buffs Pillows

'I love what you've done with the place.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Painting the Ceiling

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Fittd shēt

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Waiting Room Quarterly

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."