Interior Decorating Buff Pillows

Eve moaning that there are no antiques in Eden

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Use your imagination.

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"You're welcome."

Fittd shēt

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Waiting Room Quarterly

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Books / Coffee table books

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."