Interior Decorating Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm looking for something that will go nicely with this!"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Painting the Ceiling

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Fittd shēt

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Waiting Room Quarterly

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

James decided to stay in that night.

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Posh Easter Egg

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'