Interior Design Enthusiasts Pillows

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

"Ralph's totally useless as a husband, but he makes a great futon."

"I knew that book would come in useful one day"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"Do you have any caffeine free coffee tables?"

"The Lawsons got new furniture. They're having a 'Help Scratch It Up' party."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Painting the Ceiling

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Fittd shēt

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Waiting Room Quarterly

James decided to stay in that night.

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'