Interior Design Lovers Pillows

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Interior design trends for parents....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Painting the Ceiling

Fittd shēt

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Waiting Room Quarterly

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."