Decorative Design Buff Pillows

"The pectoral fins help with directional control. The rest is just decorative."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Blue Dress

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

Posh Easter Egg

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

Doulton Canada Geese

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

King Madras

'How are you doing on your side?'

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

Robotic Flower Arranging

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"We need to talk."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

'The old one fell apart.'

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."