Home Design Buff Pillows

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

'Who needs central heating? I've got plenty of vintage port?'

Feng Shui.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'The client loves your work. Cut everything except for their logo.'

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"If the nanny state wants us to solve the housing crisis they need to get out of the way and let us learn from the leaders in the field..."

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

WC problem.

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

Painting the ceiling with a paint roller attached to an umbrella.

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."

"Stop screwing around!"

Decluttering. . .

"I see you ladies are admiring the Tuscan Blue."

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!..."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'We're renovating.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

"Harold! Come down off the mountain!"

Dracula reading fang shui.

'Just can't find Le Corbusier's anywhere !'

"Is this desk too businessy?"