Interior Design Buff Pillows

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'What paste?' (Husband nailing wallpaper to the wall).

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

Office Furniture.

"Are you sure you want me dying on the memory foam mattress?"

"It's really cold outside. You might want to put on two coats."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"So far, my redecorating isn't working on him the way I hoped it would."

Dracula reading fang shui.

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Jim spilled coffee on it!'

'I redecorated the room.'

"This is the precise reason I didn't want bamboo flooring."

'Plastic Surgery. Closed for alterations.'

'Take two quarts of latex and call me in the morning.'

'Listen Jock, the carpet has been down for over a year now. When will you allow us to walk on it?'

"So what if it's small," the realtor says, "it's not like you'll be stuck in there."

"I like your floating shelves."

"Harold! Come down off the mountain!"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Interior design trends for parents....

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I didn't spark joy."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"Home depot."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Painting the Ceiling

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."