Intergalactic Trader Gifts

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"Take me to your mechanic."

Alien embryo growing in earth.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Science fiction fans on other planets

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Dancing with the Star Wars

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Newborn Cosmonaut

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

Christmas on Other Planets.

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

An astronaut parties with aliens on the wing of his spaceship.

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

"Take us to Disneyworld then, if there's time, to your leader."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.