Intergalactic Dealmaker Gifts

Forget my leader. Stick with me and we'll make millions.

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Take me to your mechanic."

Marry me astronaut

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Christmas on Other Planets.

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Take us to Disneyworld then, if there's time, to your leader."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Did you bring more cars?"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's already an intergalactic spaceship that was sent here over a million years ago.'

"Let's find a planet with a better rating."

"Are we there yet?"

"Oh the little green men are from the planet Thargon, we're the big blue men from Zefflon 8."

Galaxy line - leaving Milky Way - entering Andromeda

'Good afternoon, Earthling -- I represent the 'Encyclopedia Galactica,' and....'

'I invest in emerging markets.'