Intergalactic Dealmaker T-Shirts

Forget my leader. Stick with me and we'll make millions.

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Take me to your mechanic."

Marry me astronaut

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Did you bring more cars?"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's already an intergalactic spaceship that was sent here over a million years ago.'

'Good afternoon, Earthling -- I represent the 'Encyclopedia Galactica,' and....'

"Let's find a planet with a better rating."

"Oh the little green men are from the planet Thargon, we're the big blue men from Zefflon 8."

"Are we there yet?"

Galaxy line - leaving Milky Way - entering Andromeda

'I invest in emerging markets.'