Intellectual Rival Pillows

Genius Envy

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

The Sculptor

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

Bee Chess

A heated argument between dons of applied maths and ancient history.

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

'My app just ate your widget.'

"Jones ... don't use that 'I'm only human' excuse with me again!"

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

Department de Philosophie

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

Mathematicians' put down.

"Why do you have to be so smart? You'd be more popular if you acted normal."

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

'He's just messing with your mind.'

'It tasted nice until you told me she cooked it!'

Historians' Tiff

"You still need that recipe for boiling water?"

'Slowly destroying the planet will help weaken our competition.'

Hoodies playing chess

"This says freshmen college enrollment is reaching record levels!"

Degas Was Here

Stupid Cat

Playing chess.

"That just shows how little you know."

"Where did you say you went to college?"