Intellectual Duelists Pillows

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Genius Envy

"So, what are you reading?"

"Have you been working out?"

Football team discussions.

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

Science Snobs

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Bee Chess

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

Department de Philosophie

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

Cambridge Dons disagree about the meaning of life.

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

"Can I borrow this or are you going somewhere?"

The New Greek Crisis

You! Are thick magazine.

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

'Best way I know to decide who gets the research position.'

Radical Think Tank

Brain vs heart

Sign 'God is dead!" youth asking "Who's God?"

'He's just messing with your mind.'

'When television insults Walter's intelligence, he insults it right back.'

Historians' Tiff

"The next speaker needs an introduction but won't get it from me!"